This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
