i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
