God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
