i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
