i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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