Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
