I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize