the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
