eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize