im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
