If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
be right there i have to get my cape
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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