remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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