Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
operation harelip BJ is a go
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
