Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
