she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Is it because I queefed?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
