I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
you inspire me to be a worse person
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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