Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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