And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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