so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
