I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He? As in you personified your dick?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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