so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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