Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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