you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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