It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
