the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
