Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
