How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
