And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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