Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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