she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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