he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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