Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
