No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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