If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I AM VODKA MAN
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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