I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
