actually, I'm a sock model
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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