help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Green mimosas i think yes
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
