this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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