His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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