Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
