well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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