so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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