If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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