im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
did i just pee glitter
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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