Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize