I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
