Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
