just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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