he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I am spending my child support on dildos
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Randomize
