My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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