I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
