I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Just pee around me
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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