Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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