oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
