Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
