Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just sucked dick on a ferry
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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