okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
