I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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