He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
