Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
