I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
