That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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