Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
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