nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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